Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize