What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
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