that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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