youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
