Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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