I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize