i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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