you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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