are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
