Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize