He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
