I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the condom got lost in my hair
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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