oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
When are your genitals available?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
