I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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