Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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