i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
