I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
