Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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