Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize