Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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