Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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