no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
