I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
