i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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