Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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