Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
