he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
