Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
