whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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