Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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