like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
