I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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