Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
