so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
