So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
