He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
