Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
