It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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