i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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