Dual....:-)
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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