i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
