we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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