theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
