Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize