Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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