You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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