And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
