I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
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I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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