do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
