the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
