If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
