am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
