please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
