That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
