You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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