You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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