there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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