is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
