i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
