yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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