I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
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I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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