Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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