why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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