i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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