You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
