I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
