first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm having to shit out rocks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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