wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
