omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize