So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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